Should Men Look After Small Children?

“The man had told children to show him their private parts and had shown them his own”, a friend told me when we were discussing whether we should leave our children at the kindergarten on Fridays here in Germany. The scene described was not our kindergarten, but another one in town. The man was quietly let go because the children were between three and six years old and were therefore considered unreliable witnesses. The management also did not want to “stir something up”. It should have been their duty to report the case to the government, but many daycares do not.

The issue of how to protect children has become increasingly pressing in recent years, as shifts in what is considered socially desirable have led to more men being encouraged to work alongside children.

One extreme example is drag queen story time, which is still being held in some kindergartens. The question remains why these men, whose public personas are often deliberately sexual, seek access to and contact with prepubescent children. In one case, a drag queen known as Jurassica Parka, who had read to children at such events, was found to be in possession of child pornography. He had previously been convicted of distributing pornographic fiction involving children.

Another example is the launch in Berlin of a gay and lesbian kindergarten project that was open to children “not yet aware” of their sexual orientation. On the board was lawyer and sociologist Rüdiger Lautmann, who published the now infamous book The Lust for Children. He was also one of the people who tried to abolish Section 176 of the German Criminal Code, which criminalizes sex with children under the age of 14.

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Germany's Strange Views on Pedophilia

The question arises whether Germany is simply a tolerant and egalitarian society or whether it has at times been dangerously naive when confronting the risks of child sexual abuse. The so-called Kentler Experiment remains one of the most controversial scandals in modern German social policy and one of its most tragic failures.

Beginning in the late 1960s, Berlin psychologist and sexologist Helmut Kentler arranged for vulnerable boys, including homeless and neglected youths, to be placed with foster fathers whom he knew to be pedophiles. Kentler, himself a pedophile, argued that these men could provide stability, care and emotional support, while downplaying or dismissing the harm caused by sexual contact between adults and children.

The placements were supported and financed by Berlin authorities and continued for years with little scrutiny. Only decades later did investigations commissioned by the Berlin Senate establish the full extent of the abuse. The inquiries concluded that children had been exposed to systematic sexual exploitation under state responsibility and that authorities had failed in their duty to protect those in their care. By that time the statute of limitations had already run out.

In the decades since, Germany has invested in prevention programs that target potential offenders before abuse occurs, rather than relying on safeguarding after the fact. The Charité's "Kein Täter werden" ("Don't Offend") project is one such initiative and is fundamentally different in purpose and approach from the Kentler Experiment. Established in 2005, it offers confidential therapy to people who experience sexual attraction to children and who seek help to avoid committing offenses or consuming child sexual abuse material. The program is based on the principle that preventing abuse requires early intervention and treatment before crimes occur.

The project explicitly aims to protect children and reduce the risk of offending behavior. Charité researchers describe pedophilia as a clinical condition or sexual preference pattern that may exist independently of criminal behavior, while stressing that any sexual activity involving children is abusive and illegal.

Whether pedophilia should be understood as a sexual orientation or a mental disorder remains debated among researchers. Some scholars argue that it resembles a persistent sexual orientation because it is generally not voluntarily chosen and is often stable over time. Others classify it primarily as a psychiatric disorder because its expression is directed toward children. Regardless of terminology, there is broad scientific and legal consensus that sexual contact between adults and children is harmful, exploitative and entirely unacceptable. It constitutes a serious crime with lifelong psychological damage for the victims.

Source: Statistisches Bundesamt (Destatis), 2026

A Curious Counter-Trend?

Looking at recent employment trends in Germany, it is striking that the number of men working in nurseries has roughly doubled to 7.9%, while the number of men working as teachers in primary schools has fallen to just 10%–15%. The state has made efforts to push for more men in daycare settings. While one of the reasons is surely the rising number of single mothers, another might be that modern society mandates equality in all sectors. This therefore amounts to a form of social engineering.

While it might be well-intentioned to offer children more male role models, there seems to be a lack of awareness of the risks introduced by such measures. Predatory men may gain easier access to children through childcare settings, including very young children who may be unable to communicate abuse. In southern Germany, for example, a 53-year-old German male childcare provider operating under the “Tagesmutter” system was accused of abusing children as young as one year old. In another case in Berlin at least six children were abused by a helper.

From an evolutionary and historical perspective, mothers have been the primary caregivers of infants and young children in most documented human societies, while fathers more commonly contributed through provisioning, protection and the socialization of older children. Although paternal involvement varies considerably across cultures and fathers can play important caregiving roles, direct infant care has historically been performed predominantly by women.

Men are also simply more likely to commit sexual abuse. That is not to condemn all men or to deny that women can also be abusers, but it is a statistical reality. The benefits of having more men working in these roles have to be measured against the increased risk this implies, which may require higher levels of protection.

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Sentencing and Safeguarding Are Insufficient

Even though the state and society are actively pushing for more men in childcare settings, appropriate safeguarding needs to be in place across all sectors dealing with children, especially the very young. Sentences for sexual abuse in Germany range from three months to 15 years, which leaves an enormous range for judges and has led to several controversial cases where judges were accused of laxity. Owing to the age of the victims, gathering evidence can also be difficult.

Beyond the often lenient sentencing, a fundamental question remains: who watches those who look after children? This question must ultimately be answered by both parents and the state.

Ultimately, the debate is not about whether men should be allowed to work with children. Most men are not abusers and children benefit from positive role models of both sexes. The real issue is whether the safeguards surrounding childcare are robust enough to protect those who cannot protect themselves. Trust is not a safeguarding strategy, nor is the assumption that institutions will always act in a child's best interest.

Germany's own history demonstrates the dangers of placing ideological goals ahead of the welfare of children, whether social experimentation, notions of equality or fear of causing offense. Parents should not be expected to suppress legitimate concerns, and childcare providers should not be allowed to quietly remove suspicious individuals without external scrutiny. The first duty of any society is to protect its most vulnerable members. If that duty is neglected, no amount of progressive rhetoric or professional reassurance can compensate for the consequences.